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Parents may first encounter problems exchanging the children while the divorce is pending. Continued conflict experienced during custody exchanges can make a child fearful and resistant to comply with the visitation schedule simply to avoid the negative feelings which routinely accompany the exchange. Issues involving child support or parenting differences should be addressed by e-mail, phone calls or by communication via attorneys. When children are present, communication between hostile ex-spouses should be kept to a minimum. Such stress can lead to depression, poor school performance, negative social interaction and even physical health problems.

Children who witness divorced parents arguing or threatening each other generally experience stress and often blame themselves for parental problems.

Spouses may fall out of love with each other, but children will still love each parent and hope to have a strong bond with each parent. However, if grudges are held or conflict exists regarding parenting styles or issues, the event of exchanging the children carries the potential for emotionally harmful and even violent behavior.

Ideally, contact between ex-spouses during an exchange should extend just long enough to safely accomplish delivery of the children. Divorced Parents may want nothing to do with each other following a difficult divorce, but when minor children are involved, the necessity of exchanging children to comply with court-ordered custody and visitation plans usually requires some degree of interaction.